


Trembling

by owl_of_fandom



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:40:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22668694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owl_of_fandom/pseuds/owl_of_fandom
Summary: Draco needs to know if Harry is fine. So he goes to find out.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Kudos: 92





	Trembling

Draco pressed the button and listened to the sound of the bell, muffled by the door. He was worrying his lower lip while footsteps came closer. The door was yanked open. Immediately the angry grimace left Harry’s face to make room for a frown. 

“Malfoy? What are you doing here?” 

“I, uhm, I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t have… I’m sorry.” Draco shook his head and turned around to leave again. 

“No, wait. Why don’t you come in?”

Hesitantly Draco followed Harry into the living room.

“Do you want anything? I was just making tea.”

“Yes. Tea would be fine.”

As Harry left for the kitchen Draco stayed and looked around the room. His first impression was ‘cosy’. There was a big leather sofa on one wall. Opposite from it was a grand fireplace. There were photos on the mantelpiece. Suddenly Draco felt like an intruder into Harry’s privacy. He sat down on the edge of the sofa, carefully not to move a pillow, and watched his hands balling into fists. 

“Here you go”, Harry came back into the living room carrying two steaming mugs. The comforting smell of hot tea filled the room. As Draco took one mug from Harry and clasped his long, slender fingers around it, he felt himself relax a little. They sat next to each other staring into their steaming mugs. None of them talked. Draco took a first sip of hot tea. He felt the warmth spread through his body. Now he did not feel as awkward anymore as he did before. He was about to open his mouth to speak as Harry suddenly broke the silence. 

“So, what brings you here today?” he asked and looked at Draco with his startling green eyes. Draco hesitated only for a moment.

“I heard what happened and I wanted to-“

“Rub it in, huh?” Harry interrupted with a growl. 

“No, but that’s probably what I would have done when we were kids. I, uhm, I actually wanted to … to know if you’re okay?”

Draco wondered shortly where this insecurity came from so suddenly. Harry looked at him with an unreadable expression. Draco watched him set down his mug on the small side table and run his hands through his black messy hair leaving it even messier. He was staring into the distance for a while and Draco was sure that his mind was far away from him right now. He could see Harry’s hands balling into fists. His jaw was clenching and unclenching again and again.

Draco once more felt like an intruder but he could not avert his eyes. Instead he kept staring at Harry.

“Harry?” Draco tried to keep his voice soft, so he would not startle the other man. 

“Harry? Are you okay?” his voice was firmer now but there was still no response. He set down his now empty mug next to Harry’s and carefully moved closer to Harry.

“Hey, Harry?” Draco asked again and now he slightly patted Harry’s shoulder. He could see how the green eyes slowly came back into focus. He looked at Draco uncomprehendingly and then frowned.

“Harry, are you okay?” Draco asked again, his voice so very soft. Harry nodded once, briefly.

“Are you sure? You’re trembling.” Draco could not keep the concern out of his voice any longer. 

Harry sighed. “Yes. I know.” His eyes were closed now. Draco still had his hand on Harry’s shoulder. As he now realised what Harry was doing – concentrating on his breathing to calm down – he took it away quickly. It took only a few breaths before Draco noticed Harry’s trembling to fade and finally it ceased.

None of them dared to speak first. They simply sat together in silence, staring at each other. For some reason Draco longed to reach out and take Harry’s hand. He wanted to comfort him, make him feel better. He knew that this was why he was here in the first place, but he was not sure why he felt like that. The crush he had had on Harry when they were still at school was gone for quite a few years now, was it not? 

“So now you know.” Harry whispered, not looking at Draco. “You can leave me alone now. Only me and my misery.” Harry buried his face in his hands. But Draco did not leave. He even moved a bit closer to Harry, so that their knees were touching.

“Harry?” he was surprised by the gentleness in his own voice. Slowly Harry raised his head to look at him with big green eyes, showing a vulnerability Draco had never seen in him before. It made him want to protect Harry even more.

“Harry it’s okay. So what if you’re having a panic attack from time to time? It’s only natural after everything you’ve been through. I know it feels horrible. Hell, it feels like shit. And it seems like it won’t ever be better. I know you think you’re alone in this. But you’re not. You’re not alone. You don’t have to go through hell on your own.” 

Harry’s eyes had grown bigger throughout Draco’s little speech. Now Draco could see tears glistening in the emerald eyes staring at him.

“How would you know?” Harry asked, his voice husky and quiet. First tears were running down his cheeks now. Draco wanted to wipe them away but did not dare to. 

“I just do.” He gave Harry a tiny but hopefully encouraging smile.

“You have them too?”

Draco felt the smile drop from his face. He did not like to be reminded of his weakness. Hated it actually. But he nodded briefly. 

The next thing he knew was Harry throwing his arms around him, pulling himself close to Draco’s chest. Without hesitation he reached around Harry and buried his face in Harry’s neck, breathing him in. Draco ran his hands through the messy black hair like he wanted to for so long. 

“Harry” he breathed, barely audible.

Harry clung to him as if his life depended on it. As Draco felt his shirt get wet, he started rubbing Harry’s back in slow circles. 

“It’s okay, Harry. It’s okay”, he whispered again and again while Harry’s sobs grew louder and more desperate. 

Draco did not know how long they sat there like this. At some point Harry’s sobs ebbed away but they kept holding onto each other silently. 

“I’m sorry.” Harry’s head lay on Draco’s lap now, his face pressed into his stomach so that his words were a bit muffled. But Draco understood him anyway. 

“I didn’t mean for you to see me like that. But I’ve always been alone with this.” Harry looked up at him with this vulnerability that made Draco’s heart melt.

“What do you mean? I always thought you had your friends? Weasley and Granger? Don’t you?” Now Harry pressed his face against Draco’s stomach again, muffling his voice as he answered.

“Yes, I do have my friends. But they don’t really understand. Not the way you do.”

Draco felt tears rise in his eyes. If he had only known! He gently brushed away a lock of black hair and kissed Harry’s temple. He could feel a soft shudder going through the other man has his lips touched his skin. 

“I’ve always been so alone” Harry repeated quietly. 

“Well, you’re not alone anymore. You have me now. I mean if you’d like that.”

“Yes. I think I’d like that very much.”


End file.
